did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So much Jack, so little girl.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
