Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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