yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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