SEEEEXXX PLEASE
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wish my penis had a tongue
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
