Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
