You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
