There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
