laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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