I hope mine doesn't look like that
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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