I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
