does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Are we still banned from the library?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
