Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
