I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
