Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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