went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
