pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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