guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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