she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
