Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
