I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
