also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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