I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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