But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
