From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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