Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize