Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
