Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
wow bdsm is so cute
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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