Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
