is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
