So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
