I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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