I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
