3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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