I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Someone came in the potted fern
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
