one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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