So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
