i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
