Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
