its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The power of my boobs compel you
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
