thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
