I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
