he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
