erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
