what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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