you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
