If that was your dad, he is hot
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
