Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
