One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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