worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
