quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
