i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
