brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's rum buckets o'clock
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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