Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize