Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
