All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I've blown a few things in my day
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
