His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
