I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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