Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
