so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
