Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
