His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
