what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
