so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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