Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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