So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize