remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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